Age Does Matter

I have a friend who confided to me something really intimate I fear that I might go through the same thing myself.   This is what he told me in between shots of vodka:

“You know Tom, I have to admit…sex is becoming a little more difficult to perform in middle age.  My wife does not know it, but it getting harder for me to keep up with her needs.  When we were younger, I last longer, and she comes faster.  It’s not so hard to be in rhythm when I was never panting back then, my member was as hard as a rock, and she was fully lubricated like a 24 hour car wash station.

“Now, it’s either I would either come too soon, or go soft inside her.  She does not lubricate as much as she used to.  Trying to stay hard gives me headaches after.  The only consolation I have is that when she does come, after a miracle of thrusting to a point of a trance, she gets really tired and then, I feel okay.  But not without the physical repercussions.  It shows when I go back to work: the slips, lapses, memory problems, endurance, stress coping.

“I hope she realizes that even though I am still trying hard to be the lover I should be for her, she must realize that as age progresses, sexual satisfaction must give way to physiological realities.  I don’t angle for younger women, I have a reality check every time I look myself in the mirror.  I know I can’t stop middle-aged women from wanting young, muscled studs but in my opinion, consumerism aside, it is not appropriate anymore to linger on self-satisfaction at the expense of negative self-image, double life, and infidelity to someone who has been loyal to you for a long time.  Besides, we don’t need to come all the time, don’t we?  It’s enough we cuddle, feel each other tenderly, and be less lonely, right?

“I think we should take sex and our relationship to the next level, and abandon the animal instincts that makes us addicted to self-indulgement to the point of making a purely recreational, intimate, relaxing, bonding activity into something central to our life at the expense of other more important aspects of living.

“But the problem I really have, Tom, is how could I open this up to her?  Sorry if I have to open up to you like this, but man, I don’t know to whom I can turn to.  You’re the blogger, you gotta have something up your sleeve.  I love her.  But I don’t want our marriage to be rocky just because our genitals are getting rusty.  Well?

Do be honest, I was speechless that night at the bar.  I was embarrassed at not being eloquent or inspired to give my friend so sparky counsel to spark their relationship.  Maybe because I fear I might come to that point to and I would feel inadequate myself.  Could I tell him that our women, our wives, will eventually understand what we’re going through?  I gave him a few sophistic mumblings about regaining manhood, it’s all a cycle yada-yada, but I did bite my tongue in recommending pills or diets.  Nope, I won’t recommend anything of that sort.

I am at a loss too.

I don’t really post often, part of my busy schedule, but if you find this post intriguing and you might want to help out me and my friend, feel free to leave some advise regarding this dilemma and I assure you I will acknowledge and reply to your comment as soon as I am able.

Thanks, and have a good day.

with no performance enhancers

Too much thinking and studying does affect sexual performance, and that’s based on my experience. If your mind is filled with theories, arguments, deadlines, and essays, imagination that powers the sex drive would have a deadly downfall. So, as a partial solution, I have been going herbal so that I would be a better Her-bivore.  A tea to sustain and increase sexual stamina, a pill there to thicken the bole, a tablet there to add volume to the milk of human kindness. To avoid side-effects, it is not advisable to regularly take these enhancers, lest we end up like Harry Osborne in the Amazing Spider Man. But that is also pretty much assured because we have sex when the time is ripe and when both are very much in the mood. I have resigned to the fact that my girlfriend would only love to have it when she wants it, and my aggressiveness is reserved to the moment when she lets me have it.

I was almost to the point of panic when unexpectedly she cuddles me and from our usual walk home she pulls me to a clean and homely inn where she wants to get her fill of love. I was surprised with myself when I was able to last longer and harder than I was even with those herbals. She even gave me that remark. That made me a little proud at the moment.

I Screwed Up at such a Delicious Score

I was tempted to ask her, “Did I do well? Was it good? Did you come lots of times?” and naturally, considerately, she will say everything was alright. However, I will not go that direction. I did ask if she did come, and she said yes. I know that she did when I went done on her and while painting my expressionistic masterpiece, my fingers were also stirring the pot of healing stew. She pulled me hair and sang the most melodious song. But what was pathetic was what happened before that.

I don’t usually do this, but I usually ignore the beauty that is generously shown me and just do the manly work. I also do a lot of foreplay. In this occasion, I just gave in to my enthusiasm and went ahead to the center of attraction. A woman who is not fully aroused with a lot of foreplay and kisses and touches will have a very tight and viscous lubricated vagina. That in turn will make it harder to a rhythmic thrusting and orgasm will be harder to bring about. This is were I screwed up. And I paid for it big time. It became harder for me to block the increasing sensation and I had to pull out because I was about to come, and my juice dripped like gobbets of gold, not a good sign too. Which means I haven’t been jacking off that much. Forget your sexuality and sex life and you can say goodbye to being an American Gigolo. I’m trying to balance everything in my life, and at this point, I have neglected little old John. When it was time to perform, he got the stage fright, and choked in the rap battle.

I compensated by being silently eloquent and preternaturally dexterous. She came strong and was even asking for some minutes rest. But I have already lost my rhythm and drive. The nuggets that were lost to me were a lot. I knew I had also disrupted her own flow. I admit my mistake and this should not happen again.

Would it help I had a terrible migraine the afternoon before and I had taken my dinner? I am not happy with excuses. I lost it and I lost it, that’s it. No alibis. I should have thought of it and I have mismanaged an otherwise wonderful sharing of love, made lesser than glorious than it’s supposed to be. Nobody’s perfect, but when lovemaking comes as this seldom than before, I better get my act together.

Polygamy or Abundance?

Are men born polygamous or is that there’s just a lot of beauty that catches our attention and makes us desire and want to acquire, usually behind our professed love’s backs. The catch with indulging our petty urges is this, there can only be one Queen for every King, and the King that makes every woman a queen ends up losing everything in the process of objectification and a waste of marginal resources merited by those who spend their valuable time on us. When I say valuable, it is not a girl who is willing to give you sex. It is that trusting being whom you chose as your lifelong partner, who labors and toils to help you make life sweeter and brighter, who deserves everything you have and more.

The Benefits of Exercise

Nothing makes you really look sexy than getting all puffed up after doing a 30 minute workout. I did notice that after I played with my dumbbell a bit, doing push ups and flexing my muscles so that the flab would harden made me taller, with an erect posture, and the haggardness from the face was just taken off, lifted like so many wasted years. After I did that, I got lucky. My photos seemed to show a more photogenic me, devoid of the burdens I am carrying.

Started doing weights after I got frustrated with my dieting. I love to eat, so why should I make myself suffer? Since I could not get my weight down, it would be best to really break into a sweat, before both of you are planning to sweat it out.

Absence makes the heart go fonder

I believe nothing makes a man die earlier than a deprivation of sex. Oh yeah, I’ll get a rap from the Feminist community for being such a jerk but this is only a rant and don’t expect too much seriousness from a dried up old young man who is strictly trying to hold on the last remaining drop of humor from his body. 

If they say that sex does wonders for the health, what happens when one is denied it, especially if that one is a person of great talent for rugmunching? Where can a decent man find some decent confident boosting when he is forced to resort to prostitutes for by the hour rip offs?

Who would be controlling whom? The only person who could bolster your ego is the one that is a hypocrite for denying you a valuable commodity. You follow her around like  some lovelorn carrot follower and wait till she flashes you that mischievous smile. You become meeker than a lamb of Mary’s. Guess, we have to listen to Jimmy Giles when he sang, “I guess I have to buy it!” Buy it from the best source, the one I love.

The Reason for Liking

It would be a real waste of meeting and conversing with someone that attracts us if that would only be reduced to just a satiation of lust.

Is it not that we should like the person and then you share your joys, simultaneously liking the person more and more while taking and giving the pleasures freely given?

Must it be that we desire what we would enjoy then almost never think about the person we are with?

It takes away the mystique and novelty of each experience if we just focus on the sex and deprive ourselves of the colorful companionship that the friendship and the intimacy would give both of you.

No wonder some people go to some extremes trying to squeeze more enjoyment from sex, and still get no satisfaction from it.

While couples stay together for life because their persons color life itself as one, with sex just a bonus, a sign of love for each other.

Talking about sex is not all about sex

From now on I would like to post my thoughts regarding sex, love, relationships, marriage, lust, among others, in the shortest ways possible. This will the archive of my sentiments regarding the most intimate subject of the human species. I would also like to examine sex from a different perspective, on the ways people react and work around it as something that is both blatantly shown and jealously guarded. I find this change in writing about my experiences about sex is a lot better than trying to look for material to fill up these pages when sometimes there is hesitation to write about them when they seem to me too special and personal to be only splashed on the page. However, sometimes we still do wish to have someone to listen to these amazing experiences. I will still write about sex but I would rather mainly jot down tidbits of philosophizing on behaviors, sentiments, attitudes, and views regarding lust and liaisons, as well as the follies and irrational thinking involving the birds and bees.

Let’s begin the foreplay, shall we?

By tomfox22 Posted in Essay

I Flunked at Sex

Here is some of the hardest lessons I have learned when it came to being so overconfident as to wing it without any physical and mental preparation.

If you really want to be a player, you have to train for it. Being a schmuck and proud of it is pathetic really when your partner bears the brunt of your flaccidity.

Sex is just like any activity wherein you must be at your best or lose respect of your peers or your partner. Unless you want it to just be a master and servant relation which is, if you ask me, one of the most boring sort of partnerships where no mental development could be attained at all, nor any emotional and spiritual advancement whatsoever.

So it was my rest day from the office and my woman usually expects us to have time for each other. However, despite of having no sufficient sleep the day before, I had accepted my buddies invitation to have a drink. We did have a great time, lots of laughs, and I had not drank for quite a while, so I relished it. I then had to meet with my woman, who dutifully accompanies me to the university to sign up for another semester for my Master’s degree course. When that was done, Kenny G’s Silhouette started to play in the air.

We had a great start. She let me shower first, she had to check her messages from her people from her restaurant business. When I got freshened, she went ahead and bathed. Maybe I should have kissed her nipples first and pussy, but when she went to the bed, she bent over and invited me to penetrate her vagina while her white round buttocks inveigled me. How could I forget that even she did offer me herself that way, nothing sets the mood than a hot, teasing foreplay. Instead, I lost my desensitization that I earn by exploring her body first when I let myself have my innate way. I went crazy, who wouldn’t, when her hot bod was pointed to me that way. However, I kept stopping for breath, panting, and I had frustrated her for not allowing enough rhythm to turn her on and burst into liquid heat.  That’s when she just got exasperated and turned her back at me, frigidly.

What a frigging loser was I! What was I thinking!?

If you were only there, there I was, mewling like an alley cat just to get my piece while she just fumed at what she suspected as an unwarranted buddy alcohol binge. I knew she had smelled it through my skin and breath even though I did brush my teeth and showered thoroughly, and that I had neglected informing her of this little all guy gathering, which I should have.

I resumed kissing her whole length of body and kept on caressing her inner, lightly furred, delicious hidden delta. With her legs closed as she lay on her side I did slide my manhood and swooned at her delicious inner loveliness. When she finally opened her paradise cove, I devoured it like a hungry lion and gently but lusciously let her feel my ministrations come in and out of her eager labias while she closed her eyes and moaned her approval to the envious ceiling. I closed the light and we had our mouths on each other’s genitals. In the dark we lost track of time while we mutually licked and sucked with our hot tongues and deep intakes. When we got our fill of that hot oral exchange, I turned on the light and went back to her lovely center so that I could probe her wetness between her milky legs. It was a long time, I had the patience and the desire to enjoy her body orally more.

She violently pulled my head down when she had lost control. I drank everything from her like divine mead.

Still, I could have lengthened our experience. I had put in my manhood and started to rock her. Lord, how beautiful she is when she is orally served! How her skin glowed and how sexily her lips part and her hungry eyes stare when I sex her again and again lovingly.

Alcohol may strengthen brotherhood, but it saps energy for being her Big Brother.

I broke water, so to speak, and with a yell, I had to spill it all over her belly as she, laughingly, accepted, but, knowing her knowing me, that’s not my usual style. I had to doze while again she just fiddled with her phone, ugh! I woke up with a bad headache for all the beer still there and then this.

When you do such regrettable foibles, small things that could affect big relationships, you have to be prepared for the danger of being single again as some nasty payback gets into her mind and punishes you for good. Oh yeah, there are a lot of women out there who just might fancy a man about town like me, but she is rare to go by, a real gem of a woman. I got my just deserts when she ogled another guy and I could not risk being a dictator by scolding her for it. Yeah, I could pummel the damn chump but what would that give me? A day in court? Moral damages, fines? You don’t make your woman stay by punches. You make her stay by consistently being the Ready Man.

Oh well, you live to fight another day. Will she be understanding after all I have done for her?